So many young, and not so young people are in search for themselves. I wonder if it’s information overload of the current day and age or is it because we are now learning so much more about ourselves that it causes the feeling of being lost. Whenever I feel like I’ve lost the sense of self, I sit back, relax and analyze what I already have – my values, and where I currently am – my place.
Core values: family and loved ones
My family, my biggest fans, supporters and lovers! I cannot value and appreciate enough my precious daughter and stepson, my wonderful and ever understanding husband, my patient and accepting mom. They fill my life with so much joy and work, and some tears sometimes – to mix things up, of course. They are part of what makes me – me, and what makes my life meaningful and fulfilled. I have realized myself as a daughter, wife and mother and that’s an accomplishment. They don’t give out prizes for that, but when my 4-year-old wraps her arms around me and says “Mommy, you’re are my best friend! I love you, mommy!” – there’s no other prize I wish for.
We don’t all have kids, families or partners, but we all have somebody, for sure: pets, friends, next door neighbor – an old lady who brings apple pie sometimes, coworker who treats you like her own daughter or son – anyone you care about and who cares about you. It doesn’t matter who they are, if these people do exist in your life – they are a part of who you are, they make you matter.
I’m 35 and I have finally determined what I want to be when I grow up. Until recently it never occurred to me that I can actually do what I like for living – not just get a job out of need, like it used to be in the past. I’ve turned my hobby into a career I enjoy – nutrition consulting. I quit my previous job and studied hard for it, it took time, effort and money. And I’m still just at the very beginning of this endeavor, but I’m on the right track. If you like what you do – you are in the right place. If you don’t – you probably have aspirations to change the situation for the better, and that means you are in the right place. You don’t have to have arrived there yet, but as long as you are moving into that direction, you can consider yourself found. Having clear understanding of what you like, what you need to do to have it and then start your way towards it, is your credential of having found yourself professionally.
Last but not least – your spiritual affirmation. This might be the most difficult part of your search for yourself. What I have found discouraging in spiritual teachings is the meaning of being present in the moment. I don’t discount its importance, but it is not a steady state, rather work in progress. We don’t just arrive there after a couple of meditations and having read a book or two on mindfulness. Nor can we suddenly stop thinking about the past or future. But if you feel like you can’t quite put your finger on it yet and it’s making you agitated and stressed – that just defeats the purpose of the whole process. No worries, one step at a time. The fact that you have realized the need to become more spiritual – whether through mindfulness or simply by being more kind and nonjudgmental to others – is already an indication of having achieved some level of spirituality. Now just work from here. We are never in status quo, life itself is work in progress, we are in constant process of development, improvement and achievement. When I think about present, past and future, I like to picture the three-place prize pedestal – on the 1st place is present – the winner, the one that’s in action the whole time. The 2nd place is for the future – it’s still in our hands to shape it the way we want it, and the 3rd place is for the past – it’s gone already, but it still matters with all the memories and lessons it taught us. They all matter, not just the present.
There are many ways to assess your place in life, the above criteria are just a few. Searching for yourself could be very time and effort consuming. It can also force you into a state of missing out on life where you are already found – with your family and friends, your work, your spiritual believes. Now sit back, relax and look into your life to see that you have already found yourself.